What is God’s Freedom?

When I first met God he spoke to me and he talked about a couple kinds of freedom. First, he offered freedom from my nightmares, which where regular. Second, he offered freedom in my life.

My spirit immediately rejoiced, but my pride stifled my spirit and accused God being untrustworthy. To my surprise, I chose to try and free myself from my nightmares. In response, God said, “I’ll always be near, and when you’re tired, call out to me. Do you know my name?”

I didn’t.

He said that the word I had was “God,” and that I should use it, but that I would need to remember that I love him. And when I was ready to call on him, I’d need to call while remembering all the love in me. And then, he would rescue me from the nightmares and from the daymares, because since my nightmares were going “untreated” by God they would begin to affect my daily life.

I think, what he offered was rescue from inner turmoil, fear, and the striving toward success, as well as freedom from working, conflict, and failure.

I think, the life he offers is unimaginably free.

I’m not sure I’ve heard of anyone living in the kind of freedom he spoke to me about, but if that’s a fact, that’s not fact-enough to rule it out as the voice of God because scriptures have been written by prophets of God that God does new things, new things no one has ever seen or heard of or thought of, but he makes fools of the wise and learned. As you read that keep in mind, the God I met will never mock you. I think, it means that in response to knowledge used to argue God’s worthlessness to humanity, God raises the standard.

The stone that the wise and learned are tripping on sounds a little like this: God is not requiring that you to gain knowledge apart from him, actually he wants to tell you everything, and he’s not withholding anything that you don’t demand he withhold (lest your pride get offended) but actually he wants to give us all good things. I think he’d prefer to keep us away from evil. And I don’t understand why he thought freewill was going to be a good idea. Sometimes I question whether he’s powerful and good enough to make it up to us.

But, while I don’t understand the structure of reality, good and evil’s war for human souls, or the division between heaven and earth, I know this: I like God’s voice, his presence. I like his company; it’s nourishment to my soul. I like his love. It makes me happy beyond measure to remember him smiling over me as a child. And I am in awe at his ability to make me feel liked, wanted, loved, gracious. The blessing he bestowed on me was immeasurable: he called me gracious. I don’t actually know how to describe this concept. I don’t think there is actually a word in English for what he did. It was an action like bestowing righteousness: he declared, but by measure exclusively from his immense love for me. I can’t measure it. I can’t believe it. I can’t withstand the honor of it; to receive it all, I know I have to stretch beyond my capacity; to receive that much love is change to my reality; to receive that much love is to alter my place of being, my feet won’t ever touch the ground: I could live on that much love a lifetime. And yet, there’s more: he promises. What a wonder.

He called me gracious because I looked at him.

In me is the corruption, in my fallen heart, the lie that I must earn; I must earn before being awarded value. But God, met me halfway, even then, he called me a success in him because I looked at him; it gave him the chance to speak. And he took his time, without wasting a milli-second, to fit into my mind his existence, his love, my bravery to stay when I wanted to be scared, and he called me gracious. He blessed me. Because I spent a milli-second with him, he blessed me: that is God.

God is nice.

I turned him away and he didn’t rebuke me. Over and over, over and over, so many times, I called on him and he paused the world and healed me and strengthened me with his voice: and I used it to go back to working on my hopefully accomplished freedom. I had to wear down my pride.

I have the option to be bitter with God, because I don’t like being weary, and I keep ending up weary; why did he make me with a corruption called pride so that I pushed him away? Why didn’t he, just, make me good? I would have avoided pain because I would have never felt stupid, probably.

But, he’s still here. He hasn’t rescinded his offer to rescue me.

I think, I like God. I don’t understand his choices. I’m not sure, yet, how much I will respect God, but I think I like his company. But I know, I know that I know, that in the depths of my being, I like when he tells me he loves me; it feels like all the value I could ever want to earn in this life, packed densely into a gummybear so that I can eat all of it in one bite with that little bit being an accumulation of love enough to sustain my soul a hundred and fifty years, but tomorrow there will be another gummybear, jam-packed dense with complex love of the greatest and most powerful value. His love doesn’t communicate simple love or weak love. And, it doesn’t resound with caution.

His love is like walking into new existence. There is no record of wrongs and there is no inclination motivating a regressive outlook on self-value. His love made us.

He is so excited that he made us.

He is so excited.

He has good coming for the earth, by his passion it will resemble Heaven in peace, freedom, safety, joy, families, food, all overflowing into abundance.

When he comes, don’t run. Hope that my testimony is true: he is excited for you to look upon him so that he can smile over you, bless you, and tell you how happy he is that he made you.

He has honored himself by being your God.

He has honored himself by making you.

His love is not dangerous to ourselves because it is always receiving.

His love raises the dead-self up from an accusation of worthlessness into heaven where the self is blessed into all goodness. It’s a bigger feast than a sentence can hold. It’ll never grow old. He made you growing: he gets to love a new thing about you, every day. He wants to reveal his presence to you so that you will know how safe you are.

God’s love is the beginning of freedom.