I Feel: but God Sees

Testimony

My Perspective: Feeling called by God and unable to answer

prayer

Dad, I’m wrestling in myself to see movement with a willingness and strength, while all I feel is a tightness in my muscles and stress I can barely regulate, nervousness that tends to fear. I see my quietness in my spirit and I see it as lacking strength. I think I’m tired, but in my emotions.

insight

God’s perspective: The beginning of HEALED round 2

Two things come to mind. First, I think of my vision where God ate my stone heart and filled me with Spirit, even though I had already been filled. And second, about three years ago He asked me if I wanted Him to heal my body or my mind, first.

Read post… A Vision Called “November”

thoughts

So, I’m thinking He’s got a plan.

Last time, I had to be positioned so that I was in a state-of-mind, filled with miraculous faith from the Holy Spirit and in the right place so that I would get the right prayer, and all these things had to happen so that I would receive the substance of the prayer, the healing.

Now, I’m praying that I get into the right place and with the right people for this second dose of healing.

Also, my mind is recalling that a year ago I saw lighten strikes that made me think God was communicating with me: on three separate occasions, weeks a part, I saw the strangest lightening strikes. I saw one bolt of lighting touch the ground in the distance in front of me, followed by a second lightning strike that followed the path of the first, perfectly, then the second bolt would hold, burning brightly, frozen.

At first, I thought I had blinked, funny. I didn’t think lightening could strike the same place twice, following the exact same path. But then it happened, again. And then it happened a third time. And the second lightening bolt would hold, frozen and burning bright.

It had to be God.

And my takeaway was this: the first healing was the brightness and power of the first lightening bolt, but the second one that’s coming is like the second lightening bolts, and it’s going to burn so much brighter with more power than the first round.

I’m on a similar path, as before, but I’m aware that God doesn’t do things the same way. I learned about s story from Moses’ life: he was asked to strike a rock with his staff for water. But then the next time when he needed water from a rock, God commanded him to speak to the rock for the water.

Okay, Jesus, I’m turning away from my worry and my sad muscles.

I’m looking at you.

You told me to watch.

I’m watch’n.

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